Childhood Trauma
What is it and how can it affect one's mental health?
It is known that physical and emotional abuse towards children has numerous repercussions. These behaviours not only might affect a child's cognitive development but also have lasting impacts on one's adulthood. But how does this really happen?
According to Harvard University findings, a child who goes through events of neglect is more susceptible to developing greater "developmental impairments" than those who are victims of physical abuse.
In the UK, in the year 2021/22, the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) revealed that over 22,000 children were involved in helpline referrals about abuse and neglect.
Out of these children, 69% were kids aged nine and under.
These numbers correspond to an average of 62 children being abused and neglected in the UK per day. Credit: Laura Ferreira
These numbers correspond to an average of 62 children being abused and neglected in the UK per day. Credit: Laura Ferreira
But what is considered to be neglect?
In simple terms, neglect covers all forms of limited caregiver responsiveness. This can be reflected throughout different behaviours and consequently, result in various consequences.
However, some of the most common features of neglect regard a caretaker failing to acknowledge a child's emotions, fears and accomplishments, being manipulative and physically/mentally abusive towards an infant or just lacking the ability to express care and appreciation for a child.
This absence of an adult-responsive relationship between a caretaker and a child can result in long-lasting developmental disruptions.
Disruptions in a child's nervous system can have long-lasting repercussions. Credit: Harvard University
Disruptions in a child's nervous system can have long-lasting repercussions. Credit: Harvard University
How does it work?
It all starts with one's body's stress response, which if disrupted, can cause cognitive delays and impairments in executive function and self-regulation skills.
Trauma-Informed Coach, Ana Paulino, explains how these phenomena occur.
“Until the age of three, children regulate their nervous system through how they see their caregivers respond to contemporaneous events.”
“These regard either positive and negative events of a day-to-day life, which a lot of the times are not the best examples to follow, once parents aren't always the most congruent figures to look up to”, added.
The Trauma-Informed Therapist explained that seemingly banal behaviours - which for an adult might have no relevance - can influence a child’s conception of a strong event significantly.
This happens because, as infants, children do not have the critical thinking to be able to distinguish certain situations from the impact of others.
According to the specialist, caregivers should be more attentive to these factors.
Sounds confusing? Let’s look at some examples.
You might have noticed that when a baby cries and no one responds, they get frustrated and cry louder.
This is because their cry is their only source of communication to reach out to their caregivers in pursuit of a reaction. Either to be fed, have their diaper changed or just be held by a human (and not a crib).
However, when no one answers these protests, the baby eventually stops crying and falls asleep. This behaviour is the consequence of a baby disconnecting from his distress and shutting himself down.
This means that he has "given up" contesting, once he has come to the understanding that manifesting his upset is useless once no one will come to rescue him.
In that present moment, the simple non-action of holding that baby can interfere with his sense of safety, due to their caregivers not displaying any attention to him, when showing signs of discomfort or need for assistance.
And this is why events like this can cause what is called relational trauma.
This infant might grow up with this unsettled event recorded in his body (nervous system), even if in his mind (memory) he is not aware of why some situations that might resemble some sort of abandonment, for example, might be triggering for him.
What this means is that trauma can be instigated by a simple lack of acknowledgement on behalf of a caregiver, whereas despite the absence of violent behaviours, it can be the solitude and lack of caring that trigger a dysregulated emotional response within one's nervous system.
This can have long-lasting repercussions in people's lives.
Traumatic responses in adulthood
For example, people who feel unsafe when exposing emotions to others, lack the confidence to talk to people in general or feel anxious about going to public spaces, might have been victims of some sort of neglect throughout their childhood.
These responses are consequences of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), which are nothing more than traumatic events experienced by a person within their early years of life. Even if you are not aware of these events.
Let's have a look at a couple of examples.
ACE is a phenomenon regarding traumatic experiences within one's early years of life. Credit: Louis Galvez
ACE is a phenomenon regarding traumatic experiences within one's early years of life. Credit: Louis Galvez
The Invisible ACEs
Carolina Marques is a 28-year-old who says that has always had “everything”.
Her parents “built the perfect home” and according to her, when she was 20 years old, she was fortunate enough to do her master’s abroad.
Carolina was one of the top students in her class, seemingly leaving the dream of an exchange student. However, she also walked with her cousin’s phone number in her pocket in case someone found her deceased, as during this time she was dealing with suicidal thoughts.
“When my father would become more hostile with me, I would end up crying and my mother would tell me to go talk to my father again, but without doing so (crying). She would say that the only reason as to why he would get aggressive with me it was because he would see me upset.”
The now 28-year-old shared that as a kid, she was always “super anxious”, whereas at home she could not express her emotions due to these never being “validated nor acknowledged” by her parents.
Carolina also shared that due to this ongoing pressure, she was forced to learn how to live through a seemingly perfect persona, with no room for errors nor space for big emotions.
Carolina carried on explaining: "I always did what my parents would say was best for me because they were the adults, and so I trusted their judgment."
But the 28-year-old jurist later understood that this factor never enabled her to "formulate the ability to say “no”, even when on the inside (she) was suffering."
"My inner speech became the same as the manipulative one that my parents used to have with me."
Carolina was taking her masters in Sweden when she suffered her first panic attack that led her to think that she was going to die.
She knew she was facing mental health issues but did not want to return home due to having “an amazing opportunity that could not go to waste.”
She also believed that she had everything she wanted in her life and therefore she did not have “any reasons” to feel the way she felt.
It was not until Carolina started to take therapy sessions, that the 28-year-old understood that this mindset belonged to her parents, whereas, despite the absence of physical violence, she had been under "unnoticeable" emotional abuse throughout her childhood.
"He was not a stranger to me, but he only showed up once in a while."
Francisco Barros, a 22-year-old student, who has been taking therapy sessions since he was 16 years old, has also shared how the absence of his dad throughout his childhood impacted him.
He said: “When I was younger, I was a reserved kid. However, as I grew older, I quickly became a more aggressive and anxious person during my teenage years.”
“I remember feeling this burning inside me that grew and grew until I would eventually explode."
Student of Video and Film Production, Francisco thought that his anxiety was just a result of his teen phase and that "eventually would go away.”
But it was not until he stopped being able to leave the house, eat properly and take care of himself that he reasoned that something was not right.
“Therapy helped me understand that my anxiety issues were related to my dad and that my anger was a product of his absence. He was not a stranger to me, but he only showed up once in a while”.
Francisco says that until this day, he still battles with the difficulty of “trusting 100% in people”, as there is a part of him that does not believe that they will not abandon him, as had happened to him in the past.
Mental health specialists argue that this is another emotional trait of someone who has been under emotional neglect at a young age.
This is evidenced by Harvard University findings that explain that once adult responses to children are unreliable or absent, this affects how they relate to others.
We cannot change our past, but we can do therapy.
Trauma-Informed Coach, Ana Paulino, explains the importance of attending therapy sessions.
She says: "The primary wound is unconscious, but discomfort and fear are a very palpable thing. It is important to notice that trauma only exists because it is related to previous relational trauma (ACEs)."
“If you bring your discomfort and feelings to a session, we can then look at them through the right lenses. This process helps disclose a lot of wounds that were already there but that only manifested themselves through a triggering situation.“
Currently, there is still a lot of misinformation when it comes to people understanding the repercussions of traumatic experiences in their lives.
This comes either from a place where people are afraid to explore their inner struggles or from the fact that a lot of us are simply not aware of the patterns that we follow - and are disruptive to us - throughout our lives.
This is why the mental health specialist suggests that all of those who have gone through traumatic events - either in their childhood or adulthood - should do therapy.
Even if these events do not regard physical or violent incidents, as many might (only) associate trauma with.
Because in truth, childhood trauma can be caused by the simple lack of a hug throughout a lifetime.
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